Updated: Oct 3, 2020
What's covered: How to tell the difference between conceptual healing ("I've forgiven, but not forgotten") & true healing (a body-mind-soul experience)
"It's all good" - really?
I caught up with a friend recently, and we were chatting about life stuff and sharing updates.
I knew this friend was going through some pretty heavy emotional family stuff, so I asked how everything was going and how she was feeling...
Her reply: "Yeah, it's all good."
Her body's reply: "I'm SO stressed-out, I can barely function!" (As shown by her reddened cheeks, drooping eyelids, tight smile, tense jaw and hunched shoulders.)
Two things could've been happening here: 1. She didn't feel like talking about it (which is cool). 2. She mentally wants everything to be alright, but inwardly she's feeling anything but.
Bodymind Revelations: The Body Doesn't Lie
Clients often verbally communicate one thing (e.g. "Everything's going good" or "I'm over all that stuff"), and yet their body is communicating something else entirely. This is actually a really common occurrence.
Another example of this was Keith's situation (click here to read Keith's mind-body connection story I shared previously). Outwardly everything was going really well for Keith - new promotion, great partner, good family life; inwardly, he was deeply stressed and unhappy.
Keith's situation highlights how on a logical level everything can appear to be going well, and yet on an emotional-physical level we can be feeling intensely conflicted about our circumstances, or distinctly out of balance.
Why We Deny...
We are soul-guided to heal and ego-led to suppress and deny. This creates an internal conflict - one step forward, one step back. Denial of the mind-body connection keeps us locked in an unending battle with ourselves. And in this fragmented state, forward movement becomes impossible. (Cue: stress, strain and pain.)
Oftentimes, it's unexpressed emotional hurt, pain, anger or sadness creating a chasm between our adult mind's rational understanding of the matter and our true inner feelings, particularly when the situation triggers a subconscious belief formed in childhood.
Mental Justification Vs. Embodied Healing
It's not uncommon for healing to occur on a mental level rather than on a physical level. This leads to conceptual healing rather than embodied healing. Before we get too wordy about what healing is or isn't, let me share an example of conceptual healing...
Jane says she forgives her father for leaving when she was 8-years-old, but she's easily "triggered" whenever he phones (i.e. she gets off the phone feeling annoyed and resentful), she has difficulty showing vulnerability in intimate relationships, her shoulders are rounded and she's carrying a lot of protective weight around her lower abdomen.
Crap To Sort Out
Conceptual healing is also the reason why someone can seem very spiritual or enlightened, and yet their actions or body doesn't match-up. They're communicating two very different energies. Verbally, they're saying, "I'm so spiritual and aware!" While their body is screaming, "I still got A LOT of crap to sort out!"
Embodied healing, on the other hand, is understood in the mind, known in the heart and expressed through the body. In other words, healing occurs mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.
(BTW, healing isn't one of those checklist items. It'd be pretty convenient if it was! We're all in a state of healing, and it's definitely an ongoing process. The main difference being how aware and engaged we are in that process.)
Picture A River...
If your present life is suffering, then chances are it's because you're carrying unhealed pain from the past, staying in a situation that no longer serves you or ignoring those recurring impulses that are urging you to step out and take action on what you really want.
Picture a river: Emotional blockages are like boulders that impede the water's natural flow (the boulders represent accumulated and unprocessed fear in the system or suppressed sadness and anger in the body); eventually, get enough boulders and the water becomes stagnant and slow, susceptible to dis-ease and deterioration.
Keeping emotional energy held in also takes a lot of energy. Because we are psychosomatic beings, acknowledging and releasing our emotional baggage - verbally and physically - often results in the profound healing of many physical issues.
So, the next time a friend asks you the not-so-simple question "How're things going?" pause and take a moment to inwardly reflect.
We don't have to divulge all the nitty-gritty details or share our innermost feelings with others, but we can start to be truly honest with ourselves.
And that's what I love about the body - it keeps us honest. Oh boy, does it keep us honest!
Keep listening to your body and trusting your wise self,
P.S. Get clicking to catch-up on my "Body Talk" blog series - it's body good! ;-)
Disclaimer: This blog is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, treatment or diagnosis. I am not a medical health practitioner; rather, I offer clients an emotional, spiritual and energetic perspective to aid them in their self-empowerment. If you have questions or concerns regarding a medical condition, please seek the advice of your physician or a qualified health provider.
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